Saturday, February 7, 2009

his brakein down..andidk how to help

his really going threw it now..i wish i could be their wid him to help him get threw it.i wish i could be their wid him to give him strenght to help him make it...shit happend to his mom and now his really ganna be POOR!probbly wont have nothing to eat and worst of all wont be albe to go to school..he sounded so sad today on the phone and the only thing i got to do is sell my camara and my ipod to my friends so i can send him so money for his school or for his sisster..i feel super bad you know .when you see someone you love hurt wid out a clue and all you wanna do is have them feel so much better bt they dont so you feel even worser then them....????so thats how i feel at the momment .i dont have a clue on what to do or say when he was talkin to me about the probblem all i could say was dayum why cuz i have no words for that.im surround in this well rouned famiy where mom and dad do everythin for me and im not rich bt i kno i will always have a roof under my head..thus i didt know what to say to make him feel better.is like he got stabb wid a knife in the side of his head so he cant think right.doesnt have a clue on what to do nextt.and i dont have alot of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ..?to help him out i really dont grrrrrh
thiis sucks i feel bad ddd.............im jus ganna go 2 bed for the night

Sunday, February 1, 2009

big change comein soon

his takein things to the next level well at least he wants too.but im not sure if im ready to step up the game so quick.his talkin babies and im sure i would love to make one wid him so i kindah said yes we can make one when i go over their bt then again im thinkin what about my future what about my personal life.once i have his bby his offically a part of mah life..ill actually owe him explantion to things il actually have to stay home to look out for someone only a couple years younger then me.also im thininkin that if we make one once i have that bby i wont be albe to party like crazy ill be 17 when i have it.so thatll make me a junior which leaves me senior year to party and collage ..however my other side of mah miind says that im willing to give up all the freedom just to have him wid me i wouldt miind havein a baby and givein it all up for them two..
im shocked at my slef i thought that the day i would be thinkin about a bby would be when i was 24 and the day that i would get married would never be so close...his probbly ready cuz his speend most of his life partyin and havein freedom so his confident about all this.bt me iv always been locked up in a cage following too many ruless.once im legal to think for mah slef i wanna go wildd and to what ever so i dont think imready to get locked down..or iam???? grrhhh im kindah stuck between the too..truely the side that says make it is temptin me more .also he doesnt have much to ofer cuz his pretyy poor bt i think we can work on that togather right...you dont grow up always havein you grow up makein the money and your not always ready for new stages of life you jus take the step and get better at it as you go..so i think that anwser my question!!!takein this risk and haveing a kidd is just part of a new stage and i know i wont regret it never ever never in a million years not even on my worst cloudy daysssss......