bleeding loveee!

my heart is broken set into pieces and nothing can ever be done.i dont understand what he meant by this are the last words im telling you that i love you and ill wait for you forever.and then not reply my text.i cant stand it.i gave and put everything in for him.im such a foolish lil girl.with way to much drama ON my mind and two much of a trustwrothy person to belive him.i dont want it to be over.i dont want him to stop talkin to me.i want his friendship at leasttt.i dont know what to tell my slef to help myslef not go crazyy..one min im over it and the next im cryin about it ...i needd some advice but nobody has the answer.im so out of this worlddd.i wish i could jus work things out wid him..right now.i cant wait till i go..i just canttt...ugh :{

te quiero

things are moveing smoothly and im happy about this.iv notice now is when im feelin the love for you .after thinkin so much about what i feel for you .this month it finally came to me that i love you and that i can really trust you without being worried to drown in this big water of lies..its the best feelin in the world and i never want this feelin to go alway because ahhh things jus feel so perfect right now and i know i say that alot and at the end they fuck up well now its not like that i can really truely say its not ganna mess up for shit and fuck the dayum hatters and ahhh thats a wrappppp blogger im over and outtttt

his brakein down..andidk how to help

his really going threw it now..i wish i could be their wid him to help him get threw it.i wish i could be their wid him to give him strenght to help him make it...shit happend to his mom and now his really ganna be POOR!probbly wont have nothing to eat and worst of all wont be albe to go to school..he sounded so sad today on the phone and the only thing i got to do is sell my camara and my ipod to my friends so i can send him so money for his school or for his sisster..i feel super bad you know .when you see someone you love hurt wid out a clue and all you wanna do is have them feel so much better bt they dont so you feel even worser then them....????so thats how i feel at the momment .i dont have a clue on what to do or say when he was talkin to me about the probblem all i could say was dayum why cuz i have no words for that.im surround in this well rouned famiy where mom and dad do everythin for me and im not rich bt i kno i will always have a roof under my head..thus i didt know what to say to make him feel better.is like he got stabb wid a knife in the side of his head so he cant think right.doesnt have a clue on what to do nextt.and i dont have alot of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ..?to help him out i really dont grrrrrh
thiis sucks i feel bad ddd.............im jus ganna go 2 bed for the night

big change comein soon

his takein things to the next level well at least he wants too.but im not sure if im ready to step up the game so quick.his talkin babies and im sure i would love to make one wid him so i kindah said yes we can make one when i go over their bt then again im thinkin what about my future what about my personal life.once i have his bby his offically a part of mah life..ill actually owe him explantion to things il actually have to stay home to look out for someone only a couple years younger then me.also im thininkin that if we make one once i have that bby i wont be albe to party like crazy ill be 17 when i have it.so thatll make me a junior which leaves me senior year to party and collage ..however my other side of mah miind says that im willing to give up all the freedom just to have him wid me i wouldt miind havein a baby and givein it all up for them two..
im shocked at my slef i thought that the day i would be thinkin about a bby would be when i was 24 and the day that i would get married would never be so close...his probbly ready cuz his speend most of his life partyin and havein freedom so his confident about all this.bt me iv always been locked up in a cage following too many ruless.once im legal to think for mah slef i wanna go wildd and to what ever so i dont think imready to get locked down..or iam???? grrhhh im kindah stuck between the too..truely the side that says make it is temptin me more .also he doesnt have much to ofer cuz his pretyy poor bt i think we can work on that togather right...you dont grow up always havein you grow up makein the money and your not always ready for new stages of life you jus take the step and get better at it as you go..so i think that anwser my question!!!takein this risk and haveing a kidd is just part of a new stage and i know i wont regret it never ever never in a million years not even on my worst cloudy daysssss......

once again

just when i thought that things wouldt and couldt get better just when i thought i had wrote my very last blog fr him.just when i had made up my miind to beliveing it was all a game just when i shed every tear i ever hadd..he surprise meeee.....he actually showed me that i let my slef get cuaght up with my miind that i actually let my self to belive what other ppl sayy instead of belivein in mah heartt...its like godd is turning things around for us.i feel hiim closer then ever even though his so far alway..i feel like his my prince charming even though he has no gold to buy me things a princess may want or needdd..im truely happy for this turn around that has happen cuz when i was ready to give up..he didt he showed me that LOVE IS REAL AND THAT DISTANCE DOESNT ALWAYS WIN AND THAT THOSE SAD BLOG THAT I WROTE ABOUT HIM WAS JUST MY MIIND TRICKING ME.!!!and i usally would say his bullshittin me again but i CANT THIS TIME because this time i got this strong vibe that his really being real wid me his keeepinngg 100!!!just the way i like it..and now his even talking about our future togather and the things he wanna acomplish with me.men does it feel great to have someone to love and talk to on the phone late at night..now i know that sooner or later when we are togather itll be lke im in a whole diffrent world where NOTHING COULD EVER GOO WRONG!

best friends for life

im feeling really gratefull to have a friend like her...
i guess you have to go threw many bad friendshiip to actually know what it feels to have a real friend.
i actually learned my slef whats the meaning of the word friendship.
cuz after being friends with this chick i kindah notice i was being a bad friend all the timess
bt im glad that she showed me the right deffiniton and that im givein her the best of my frienshipp
..what i mostly like about this POpin shorty jajaja is that she jus like me
crazy
funny
werid
loud
and ummmm hersleffff
and havein a person who is almost like me and can be like my sister not jus a bestfriend is great
she hellps me threw everythinqq my boyfriend trouble in d.r lol my emotion reck,my recklessness and my weird ness
my words dont even describe how great it feels to have her by my side you knowww
she is like tottaly alsome and outtahh dis worldddddd
ahhhh meng LOl i LOVe you bestieee ((KATHY DIAZZZZ)))))))

it really didt

i promise myslef this is the last and truly blog ill ever write about him
bt before i stop i have to say.it really was all a game.yeah yeah so everyone else plus my concencia was right.he is a player he is a lier and the best part is he was useinme for my money.good thing is i got ppl over their that look out for me and tell me whats up and most importantly good thing i get over shit quick cuz if not i really could of been heart broken.
so yeah it wasnt what i wanted to be but o well.im not ganna streesss itt we live in a fantasy world with out a happy ending so imma jus contiune my life story wid out mah prince charmein.bt un like cinderella im not ganna cry un like cinderella im not ganna hideee.im going to be better and learn from my mistakes cuz these is going to help me to understant realationship better..also this experince taught me alot like men are really dirt bag oo and that DISTANCES REALATIONSHIP DONT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mayb for others it can and if it do ill look up to them for ever cuz containing one is hardddd and stress fulll...bt enither way i think im going to let love come to me.cuz everytime i go after it i get pretty hurt or jus lOOk mad dum at the end ......i dont wish this boy anythin bad i wish godd can jus help him straighten up his life you kno take hiim out the streets so that they wont have to call his mom and tell her he died.i want god to get into his mind and show him that school is the right way to gooo..i wantt god to help him become a better man...and next time i talk to him i wanna hear him say his doing better then ever .cuz he found the right way..idk mayb im to bunch of holy right now.bt i dont wish him bad and i dont regret this mistake i jus want him and me to be happy and okey...+

09

2009 is here and ahh im kindah excited

well im really lookin forward for summer 0999

it should be very interestin gor me since im going to d,r and shit

ahh even though me and carlitos broke up im still lukin forward to seein him

cuz when im their nikkash imma tell hiss wifeyyy to bounce off cuz the official is here lmao

let me stop well imm not ganna be all like that bt its ganna be close to thattttt

i feel like 09 is mah dayum year and only 3 months till im 16 which means i can exchange mah permit for mah real one ahhhhhhhhhhh meng lol happy happy meee...

estoy super bien and i hope it stays that way for a long timmmeeeeeee